If Brands Were Brutally Honest, THESE Would Be Their Slogans

By Michelle Sloan-Tarkington III

The question was posed on Reddit a couple of years ago: If brands were brutally honest, which brand would have what slogan?

1. TurboTax: It's free, as long as you give us $60

2. RC Cola: we’re just happy to be involved in the taste test

3. Froot Loops: yes, they're all the same flavors

   

4. La Quinta: Spanish for "next to Denny's"

5. Harley Davidson: from the Great Depression to your Midlife Crisis

6. Tupperware: Have you ever wanted to throw away food, but just not now?

7. Nature Valley: Crumb Kerplosion

8. Apple iPad: distracting your toddler is now cheaper than a Nanny

9. Red Bull - I hope you like heart palpitations

10. BuzzFeed: because you’re too lazy to go on Reddit, and we’re too lazy to write original content

11. Facebook: your privacy is our business

12. Target: where you pay a little more to avoid going to Walmart

13. Pepsi: "Is Pepsi OK?"

14. Zoom: Pants optional

15. Benadryl: you can’t have allergies if you’re unconscious

16. Instagram: you'll never look this good

17. Comcast: We don't give a fuck, because we don't have to

18. Olive Garden: When you’re here, we hate you and your family

19. Steam: remember that over 70% of your games are unplayed

20. Alcohol: borrow happiness from tomorrow!