Share this postThe Lampoon's Top 15 Gifts for Discerning Childrenlampoon.substack.comCopy linkFacebookEmailNotesOtherThe Lampoon's Top 15 Gifts for Discerning ChildrenYes, these toys are real... and they're spectacularThe LampoonMar 28, 202331ShareOur favorite gift selections from Death By Toys:Abe Lincoln (Present Day) FigureFun with Electricity PlaysetLeaving a Party Because I Shit My Pants (Female Version)Take out either eye with ease, thanks to this helpful playsetDon’t miss a guffaw: subscribe now!SubscribeCelebrate the Bible's two best friends with these Adam and Steve figures.Who didn't love playing with mold as a kid? Recreate that classic pastime!Experience the thrills of digging your own grave with this miniaturized Dig Your Own Playset. It's the perfect accessory for any of your action figures that may have given up on life.Celebrate the earth in its true form with this miniature Flat Earth globe. Don't let the sheep tell you otherwise.This is a custom made Deadbeat Dad action figure. Dad said he needed to run to the store quickly, but it seems he never came back.Celebrate the first time offering up a beloved animal with this fun toyRecreate the horrors of going to the bathroom without your phone and being forced to be alone with your own thoughtsCelebrate the person that gets stuck listening to all your inane BS day in and day out with this action figureNow you can own some hair cut off the groin of a real life clown. Perfect as a keepsake for anyone who loves (or is terrified of) clownsThis little guy is ready to provide all the spiritual guidance you need, while also including a dash of creepiness.Share the Lampoon. It doesn’t have any STDs.ShareCelebrate the joys of living alone with this very accurate dead action figure.Source: the Death By Toys catalog.Don’t miss one of our gripping articles, subscribe now!Subscribe31Share
I thought in the delusional flat earth theory that Antarctica forms the outer perimeter of the circle?