Aug 22, 2022·edited Aug 22, 2022Liked by The Lampoon
You forgot the mattel sonic blaster.140 decibels an inch from your head.My ears still ring,50 years later.Mini bikes,too.In the 70's,I put my little sister on mine,with it's marginal brakes,and told her just let go of the throttle if you get scared.She pulled the twist throttle on the handle bars back,and was soon screaming,'What's a throttle?'as she careened toward my father's new car.She veered away from that at the last second and ran full speed into the side of my parents house.My mother shoved her out of the way and examined the broken asbestos siding that had shattered.The front forks of the mini bike were folded under the frame by the impact.As my sister rolled on the ground crying,my mother looked at the siding and the mangled mini bike and said,'Your dad isn't going to be too happy.'So I fixed the mini bike before he got home.
You forgot the mattel sonic blaster.140 decibels an inch from your head.My ears still ring,50 years later.Mini bikes,too.In the 70's,I put my little sister on mine,with it's marginal brakes,and told her just let go of the throttle if you get scared.She pulled the twist throttle on the handle bars back,and was soon screaming,'What's a throttle?'as she careened toward my father's new car.She veered away from that at the last second and ran full speed into the side of my parents house.My mother shoved her out of the way and examined the broken asbestos siding that had shattered.The front forks of the mini bike were folded under the frame by the impact.As my sister rolled on the ground crying,my mother looked at the siding and the mangled mini bike and said,'Your dad isn't going to be too happy.'So I fixed the mini bike before he got home.
Nietchzie declared women to be the most dangerous playthings.
What, you left out the Wham-O Air Blaster? Guaranteed to air blast an eye out, or so I was told. It was
freakin' awesome. (the cat hated it btw)
Six fingers, six fingers, man alive! Shot plastic projectiles, not sure how my eyes survived. And etch a sketch. My brother broke one over my head.